Today I write for my own wellness, but with the hope that the timing of this message will resonate with even one person. Vocalizing these words feels futile, so let this be a journaling journey where perhaps some wisdom will come of the quiet moment. Wisdom that I trust is within, and ready to surface to the conscious mind telling me ‘what really aches’.
With mild tooth discomfort, jaw tension and unnerving lower back pain, it is now evident that the enjoyable summer months are gone. From a yogic perspective, these physical annoyances possess another obvious story, which would be about imbalances of the throat and sacral chakra’s. Most of my life I have had an overfunctioning throat chakra (which means I did more talking than listening), but it still seems to be an ongoing challenge to express some feelings and boundaries in a loving, respectful way. ‘The issues are in the tissues’ of the sacral region too, and that is rather new. I have never experienced back issues (although I CAN relate the sharp electrical pain from the day of this injury to that of ‘birthing back labour’ and THEN there was the lingering discomfort of a misplaced pelvis that followed for a few months afterwards).
Now, I feel that the lack of harmony in my body the last couple of weeks has brought my attention to unresolved family stuff that my personality needs to explore and relieve. Since exploration best starts with honest and caring communication, those wheels have been set in motion. But I am awaiting reciprocation, and this extensive wait has created a sense of holding in the body which absolutely needs to go. With deep rooted feelings of impatience and anger a quote from Oprah on forgiveness comes to mind. It’s about “Giving up the hope that the past could have been any different”. That means choosing to let go of past grievances AND accepting that future relations with some individuals might not improve. It is a choice that will help me forgive those I cannot reach, and also ‘set me free’ of the discomfort within my physical body. Pure acceptance of how things are and possibly always will be however, is still in process.
So, the intense experience of a bulging disc needed to happen. Of course, it will be easier to connect more compassionately to the staggering number of people who live with back pain. And, there have been trips to the chiropractor, physiotherapist and massage therapist which always facilitate in my learning. I will carry on with the yoga therapy to speed along the recovery, as it is this treatment that continually nourishes me and is moving me forward to yet another exercise in forgiveness and letting go.
Thank you for sharing in this expression of my heartfelt feelings amidst both, the clear blue skies and a stunning ripe Harvest Moon. And now, The Invitation…
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, ‘Yes.’
It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
Oriah Mountain Dreamer
BLACK BEAN AND SWEET POTATO QUINOA RECIPE
This season appropriate dish contains turmeric which has medicinal properties from the powerful anti-inflammatory curcumin. It will warm your soul and maybe even add more color to your Thanksgiving dinner plate!
1 cup quinoa, rinsed
1 cup fresh butternut squash, peeled and cubed
1 cup diced onion
3/4 cup black beans, canned or cooked, rinsed
2 cups water
1 teaspoon fresh lemon juice
1 tablespoon parsley, minced
1/4 teaspoon cumin
½ teaspoon turmeric
½ teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon palm sugar*
Dash black pepper
3 tablespoon olive oil
- Toss the cubed and peeled squash in 1 tablespoon olive oil along with 1/2 teaspoon salt, ½ teaspoon palm sugar and dash each cayenne and black pepper. Pour into pan and cook in pre-heated oven at 325 degrees for 25 minutes.
- In covered pot, heat quinoa with water and bring to a boil. Reduce to simmer and cook until all liquid is evaporated, about 15 minutes. Take off heat and let sit for five minutes. Fluff with a spoon.
- Sautee onions in 1 tablespoon olive oil until well caramelized.
- Mix quinoa, beans, onions and squash. Add seasonings, parsley and lemon juice and last tablespoons of olive oil and ½ teaspoon salt.
Cooking Time: Approximately 45 min
Have a wonderful upcoming Thanksgiving weekend:)